WoW – there surely isn’t anything bigger or more important than living in the NOW.

So – Inertia strikes.  Grrrrr.  Not alluding to anything that’s going on personally, don’t get me wrong – things are pretty good on most levels.  I just need to get back on track and on the ladder.  I’m doubting my writing ability (for what that’s worth … SEEE!), and not finishing projects due to a stagnancy of belief that’s crept up on me soley because I’ve stopped concentrating on being present.

The last few months I’ve been living in the ‘Why-When-How-But’.  Just when I thought it was safe to come out of the kitchen!

I need to be back in the NOW – that place where stuff slides past, or through, or by, not having any impact on our day to day living.  The place where manifesting happens.  The temple where the future is made.  That moment of pure quiet bliss when you let go of the past; and it’s hold on you, and you ignore the future; and it’s expectations.

Living in the NOW – I nailed it a good many years ago .. but recently I’ve found myself getting wrapped up in ‘what if’ downers again, and negative outcomes again – as one does when one stops concentrating.

So – back on the ladder of NOW – NOW?

Awwwww – that moment.  I remember when I first managed to realise it; make it real – after years and years of drama filled action, reaction and distraction.  Mid 30’s perhaps?  And most frustrating is the fact that I already had the knowledge that letting all the crap go would change life for the better – but was weirdly unable; even with this fore-knowledge, to action the spiritual education I’d sought out.  What a different sort of ball ache in time that was!  First there comes the pain that you attract by attracting drama.  Then comes the time when you know what you should do and for some bloody minded reason you can’t do it.  Those moments, and in my case years, of self study before the penny finally actually dropped.  But that’s the first part of healing I suppose, the knowing on such a visceral level that there is no denying it.  The doing follows the knowing.

Anyhooo – back to that moment of realising…. it was like a bullet to the brain – eviscerating all the negative in one blast.  That quick.  BANG!  One moment my head was full of noise, and sadness, and fear.   The next … Nothing.  Nada.  Nish.  Silence followed.  My head shut the fuck up for once .. the negative chatter melted away.  Astonishing feeling.  It was my ‘one hand clapping’ moment.  You know?

Eckhart Tolle was the catalyst to my ‘Now’ future.  Him, My Mum, and A beloved former Almost Sister In Law.  oh, and my old agent too – lest we forget her ‘doing her head in’ over my scatty, men controlled, naivety, and thrusting a book on Buddhism into my hands, (I was a delicate tulip of an 18 year old nightmare at the time), telling me to, ‘Read it for fucks sake’ – or choice words of that calibre.

Sanity followed my NOW ‘landing’ as I call it.

Or so I thought …

It’s all very well having the tools to finish the project .. but the project can stay half finished, and you can chip back in and out of said project – procrastination drawing completion time out over sodding eons!  Waaaah!  The project is me ‘BEING in the now’ at all times!  Because when I’m not in the NOW I drive myself a bit nuts and don’t get much done.  Time to get back to the project mithinks.

You can surely tell by now that I’m not in the sodding NOW right now.

I listened to some Wayne Dyer yesterday – very good but a bit entry level, or at least the book I was listening too.  He did remind me to get back on the ladder though – and thank goodness for that.  I guess Eckhart Tolle is a bit more ‘me’ for some reason.  Saying that – I remember being introduced to The Power Of Now – by Tolle, and listening to it on Audio book and being creeped out by his voice, and the way he clicks and throat stutters/quietly throat clears while talking.  I called my mate to tell her – and she laughed and simply said, ‘That’s your ego fighting you as it doesn’t want to change.  Go past the noise he makes and listen to his words’.  I did.  Phew to that.  I now love his quirky little voice, and stalling pauses to think big universal truths.  Perhaps I should battle on with Dr Dyer and listen to some of his books that are more relevant to me.   Hmmm – mayhap my ego was finding fault again.

Little head chatter wants to stay and keep me blocked and not moving on hey? …. We’ll see about that !

Living in the present moment protects me from gnawing worry, and panic, and a tendency to project negativity on to myself.     It’s a place where magic happens.  Futures are born.  Possibilities flourish.  Fears drift away like farts in the wind.  It’s where a serene smile and peace of mind resides.

To quote a mantra a beloved former ‘almost sister in law’ introduced me to when I was in my late 20’s, ‘Right now, in this present moment,  I have everything I need to survive.  I have air to breath – food in my tummy – clothes on my back.  In this present moment i have all I need‘.

Now here’s a thing – after writing this brain vom’ I’m feeling very much back where I should be….

The NOW count in this piece is staggering.  Easy Now!  Come On Now.  Now’s the Time.  Now Then/Now Then.  Better Now than Never – ad infinitum.

Practice living in the now peeps.  It’s heap big powerful juju.

Till Later My Lovelies,

❤