I put a soft bristled brush on my side of the bed .. face up, to stop my hubby rolling onto my side – is that weird ?
I’d say No ! Why would it be ? Doesn’t everyone … ?
I’ve lived with the fella for 8 years, been married for 7 and have had a total of 10 long years with him, in which he should; surely, have realised by now, that someone else is getting in bed beside him. Whenever I tried to move him in the past he gets all Ninja like – and karate chops the air in sleepy confusion. Admittedly that’s mega cute and very funny to watch. I often bring my mates into the room so they can witness his night frights.
Bed hogging…. It’s annoying, stay on your side – or get spiked !
The first time I did it, he called me in, and asked, a tad dryly to be fair (I have no Idea what he was imagining I was doing with said brush) why the offending item was there. I looked at him blankly and didn’t tell him, of course. Not the real reason anyway. He’s lucky – sometimes I’m so annoyed at his bedtime dolphin jumps, swivels and general bed-hog shenanigans that i’d consider using an incendiary device … except it’d mess up my lovely bedding.
The things we do to protect our personal space, hey ? Or is it just me …
The brush is in there now. It’s working. Aversion therapy. Job done.
Until next time my lovelies.

All women are bed hogs. Fact. They have a subconscious predilection to claim and retain the centre line of the mattress. I’ve spent a lifetime sleeping whilst perched on the side of the bed. I swear it has caused a spinal deformity.
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.. OK .. so perhaps a large percentage of both sides are prone to this battle of the mattresses. My new Aversion Therapy ‘HogBrush’ is in development. I’ll give you a sample. The bristles are less spiky for the softer female skin type. I can already smell the millions.
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